sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
