Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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