hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
