the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize