Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
