then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize