tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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