did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Randomize
