So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
