i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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