last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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