drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
