Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
