Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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