so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
