I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
