...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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