I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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