My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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