I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize