I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
