sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I currently don't understand fingers.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize