I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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