Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
