I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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