thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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