i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize