Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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