If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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