your room smells of hookers.
And success
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
