That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
