guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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