Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
