Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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