Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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