: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
