And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
