..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize