are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
