I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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