I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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