physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
