i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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