we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
