theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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