Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
