One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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