PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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