My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
