just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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