Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
