i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
