how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize