i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
