He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
