it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
