thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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