just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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