well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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