I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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