Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
